What If I...

...was stronger?
...was smarter?
...was not so unstable, emotionally and otherwise?
...could protect those I cared about even from a distance?
...could prove myself for who and what I am and not hide behind my brittle facade I have in place?
...knew what my place was in this world?
...fit all the expectations laid upon me?
...could stand to look at myself in the mirror and not hate what I saw?
...lived up to my own unreasonable standards for myself?
...could turn off my brain and just stop all of the torment I put myself through by doing things like this...?

There are soo many "What If"s out there and I just seem to torture myself by going through them all over and over again in my head, but I do it anyway and will most likely continue to do so...


And look at what I found to fit this post...

Life is much better in the upper atmosphere...

I shall open with this song...




And then I shall star my Hodge-podge mix of stuff for today since the marks all over my notes and saved text drafts have piled up again and I'm just busy and stressed not really in need of a vent tonight...

Quotes from all over the place:

Sacrifice the essential in hopes of acquiring the superfluous...

Life is much better in the upper atmosphere

Food : Physical Well-being :: Religion : Spiritual Well-being
You got to have it to thrive but it doesn't matter which flavor you chose.

Amor Fati - Love Your Fate

If you know why you live you can endure any how.

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it. ~Atticus Finch

The first thing that anyone from a long family can tel you is that there is never a straight answer. ~Scout

"Success is going form failure to failure with enthusiasm." ~Winston Churchill

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” ~Teddy Roosevelt

All animals are created equal, but some are more equal than others. ~ Animal Farm

Don't wait; the time will never be just right. Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.

Change is good. You go first! ~ Dilbert

Begin with the end in mind.

Once we know our weaknesses, they cease to do us any harm.

More Music Videos:









Mk, I *think* that's enough spam for tonight...

Compliment, Complaint, Same Beginning, Different End...

Complaints that's all anyone ever really hers about anymore. I admit I am guilty of it to I only car enough to complain never really take the extra step to compliment. But I seriously think after tonight that is going to change. Don't get me wrong I am still going to vent (probably a lot more than I should) but if someone does a good job that exceeds my expectations I'm going to find a way to say so, because this just goes to far now days. And yes I am speaking form personal experience. I just got 2 complaints to a manger within the past week, yet within 2 hours of them telling me about said complaints I have 3 customers tell me how awesome I am. How "patient" I am and how I always know where everything is. Which is what is reflected in the evaluation of my past 6 months that I got right before being told about the complaints. Yet my holidays will be spent on edge because I'll be worried about getting another customer complaint on me.
So in summery: Complain less. Compliment more. And try to keep me sane this Holiday season.

Thnks fr th Mmrs...

I *think* this just might have to be the official song for the blog... Was on the radio earlier and it fits almost too well to the original intentions of the blog! Have a listen!

Perfect? What's That? ...

The above is so true and to this day I still sit here and find imperfections with myself. Last week I realized how shallow I am... this week I am impatient. I loath the figurative carrot held out in front of me just out of reach, yet I find myself trapped in a stale mate with this carrot currently. I get the " Oh! By the way ... Two weeks from now ..." then at the end of week one "Sorry got to push it back a week cause of..." Then I get all amped up ready like I had started from when I was originally told time comes and then it is all "Sorry stuff didn't get done in time" and I go "What about the Holiday?" and they are all well it is just gonna happen after don't worry it will get done still just got to be PATIENT." And there come in the god forsaken word.
I am REALLY starting to not like this word... It tends to not be used to my benefit... like ever. Blah blah Patience is a virtue... well do I really want to continue to be what I have always been? Little miss goody-two-shoes is starting to get sick of being trampled on and used as a step ladder... Virtues.. should I really have them or should I just let the vices take over?
UGH!
I though of something else to complain about while at work but I totally have no Idea what it was at this point... Maybe it will come back to me for another rant session later on =D
So now I leave you with some tunes!

Just found this and it fits almost perfect to my last bit...



Cause I'm an Emilie Whore I have to put this one. Listen you'll hear why...

My Drug Of Choice...

So I have come to realize I am addicted to something...
I'm not addicted to anything bad, but it seams to empty my bank account of ~$10 a week...
Wanna know what my "drug of choice" is?
Reading... That simple... That innocent...
But like with any addict I have the type/brand I prefer. Which in my case is Sci-fi / Fantasy Books that cater to the teen young adult audience. The only "adult" books I like so far, other than a very select few I have had the read for school, are ones written by authors that I came to love by reading their books in the teen section. I am very select with my books and will find I put a book down half way through if its too easy to read or too predictable and doesn't keep me entertained enough. Even if it is by one of my favorite authors, but mine you I tend to like an author cause they don't do these things that allow me to put a book down and they open up a whole new place for my imagination to explore.
So yes I do let my imagination run away with me! Why else would I be a UniCat; part mythical creature, part cat, and totally unique? Though don't count on my creativity... about all I can do is write and that isn't even very well. *Has no artistic skills at all whatsoever*
But back to why I am admitting I'm addicted to reading... I aid I wasn't gonna buy a book this week I was gonna save my money... Did that happen? OF COURSE NOT! I started a series last week that I love and the books are to new to be at the library... which you know I really should look into old books at the library and try to find something there to save my money but the library near me has a poor selection and I just have to brows to find books a lot of the time the title or cover will grab me I can't always just go eny-meanie-minie-mo I pick that one... it just does not work!
Enough of my rant! Time to hit the books! And I mean that in 2 ways... I have homework to do too... :( ... But first a song! And some of the lyrics could fit my addiction to a book XD...