Off The Deep-End...

*Here begins a rant that is probably very hypocritical of me, considering how much I really do care what other people think of me... but I know it is a character flaw and am working to improve it so bear with me while I vent.*

I am surrounded by shallow people... they are all over and it drives me nuts. It isn't just all the advertisements brainwashing us anymore... otherwise intelligent people are falling to this and it bothers me. The anorexia and the bulimia aren't enough any more it seams. We are all self cautious and these are the extreme cases. Look at me for an example. I don't have either illness yet I constantly don't feel good enough; I put myself down and think about how skinny I'm not. Another example is my sister, who has been having doctor visit after doctor visit over the past 2 years, and just because she was skinny and never gains weight and was complaining about her stomach and acid reflux type symptoms the first thing they did when they shoved the camera down her throat was to look for scaring on her esophagus because of these diseases that are running rampant in our shallow society. (She defiantly does not have either disease by-the-way. I could have told any doctor that bothered to asked me. She hates throwing up with a passion, avoids it at all cost, to the point of taking Pepto if she feels the slightest bit nauseous, and does everything in her power to not get above a slight it nauseous.) But back to my main point... PEOPLE ARE TOO FREAKING SHALLOW! I have found that a lot of my female coworkers that are around my age are fawning over this one coworker. "He is so hot!" so on and so forth have been said to me far too much lately. These girls have even given him a private nickname to talk about him in code, take a gander at what it is... "MUSCLES"... Really ladies can we not be any more creative that his appearance? Why yes he does body build on the side. And all admit his accent is a nice change for the southern drawl that a lot of the guys around here have. But have you ever talked to him? "He is super nice." Well then you obviously haven't talked to him other than fawning over him with your cute petite girly figure (I warned you I do care far too much about this I notice things like this), but I have... hell, he used to work in our department a few years back and he is quite the asshole. Similar to the other coworkers we all despise that inspect women like pieces of meat and "would only date Germans cause they are the hottest women" or the one that calls every female "baby" and has those very unrealistic ideas of a girl that will just sit there and cook for him and give him shoulder massages all day long. I despise people like this as do most independent women that like having their dignity that women have spent hundreds of years trying to earn. So in short, society is getting more and more outwardly superficial and shallow and it is getting on my last nerve. (I am inwardly shallow. I compare myself to others and how I'm not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, so on and so forth; but I don't go on bragging about how hot someone is to those around me.) Can we please just work on not being the superficial shallow brainwashed beings we are turning into? Natural selection shouldn't be twisted like this. Pretty isn't always the best feature to have in a partner...


And because Emilie Autumn is win, it fits my rant perfectly, & I ♥ Sarcasm:

Once Upon A Time...

...life took on a fairytale quality. A young girl named Kaitlyn was living her life minding her own business, until her world was turned upside down by a stranger. The simple phrase "Well aren't you just the cat's meow." Uttered by a complete stranger to the young woman, changed her life forever. That night she lost her voice. Figuring it was just a bug she went to bed hoping she would get better in the morning, but come morning she could "speak" again. She understood herself quite well, however no one around her could understand a word she said. She was regarded as having an illness that caused her to become mentally unstable. But as the day progressed more and more subtle changes occurred. Thinking herself sick she rested, but with each "catnap" she grew more and more cat like. By that night she had grown cat ears and a tail could speak fluent cat, but still had the body of a human. It was the strangest thing. Knowing that she would be cast out of society anyway as soon as she was discovered she decided to run off before they found out. As she walked away from society society left her too, her memories faded and she became something totally new with very little past and a whole life ahead of her to forge as she wished. To this day she wanders looking for acceptance and companionship. She has grown to like and accept what she has become, but needs others to accept her for herself so her mind may be at ease.

Okay I been working on this for 2 days now, just finally getting around to posting it. What started as me trying to get a RP back story out of my head so I could write one I could actually use has turned it to me writing a full fledged story. So have the outline while I slowly but surely get to work on the rest of it...

The art of simplicity is a puzzle of complexity...

Today I shall start with a quote...

"When we begin life, we are all given a puzzle -- each one very different, yet special. As we continue through our lives, we meet people and have some type of affect upon their life, as they do on ours. We share with them a piece of our puzzle and they share a piece of theirs, with us, in return. No matter what type of impact they had upon our life, we still carry along with us, a piece of their puzzle. Meaning that everyone we encounter has a special impact upon our lives, because they have shaped us into what we are today. This is called the puzzle of life. Each puzzle growing and changing throughout our lives, but always becoming better and always having the same foundational pieces. Know that you DO make a difference in peoples lives! I thank you for sharing part of your puzzle with me!" - Erin Bridget Doyle

... And from this quote I will expand on what is on my mind, and yes the quote does kinda fit with it.

The way I look at it, life is one of those huge puzzles with a zillion pieces, but with a catch. There are extra pieces that look like they fit, but they don't actually fit the main puzzle. Sometimes, the piece will linger as you attach it to the main puzzle and try to work around it, but once you figure out it really doesn't fit you pull it out and put it aside; where it instead helps form a smaller puzzle with many of the same features of the main puzzle, but also very distinct differences. And I know that made it sound a lot more confusing than I meant it to so I will break it down.

Big Pile of Puzzle Pieces - Some will fit into THE puzzle and some won't. - Represents possible futures, mistakes, and what have you.

THE Puzzle - All the pieces that fit together the way you want them to. - Your life and what you make of it. - Picture it as the map of which forks in the road you chose along the way.

The Side Puzzle - All the piece you though fit for a little while but didn't end up fitting after all. - All the mistakes you have made that you learned and grew from. - Picture it as the road map of all the wrong turns you took but back tracked and corrected.

The "Extra" - The pieces you throw out or that get lost. - Decisions you made that were permanent no or were missed opportunities. - Similar to moral choices or decisions that were made for you when you could not make them yourself (childhood) - The forks in the road you did not ever take at all.

Anyways, that's how I have it all pictured out in my head, especially after some of the stuff I have gone through lately adding some of my key pieces to the side puzzle to make my life better and more like what I want it to be. Just though I would share my little bit of incite.

To Be Or Not To Be, Where Be = Post...

Okay so I'm defiantly not as good with the whole update blog multiple times a week thing like I was originally planing. Especially since I'm at the midterm of the semester so less free time to sit down and write out these blog posts. The funny thing is I never forget about my blog, I just don't have time to say what I want to say, or when I do have time I have already calmed down to the point of not caring about the topic I was going to vent about or can not find the right words. Though by no means has that stopped me form jotting down things I stumble upon or learn about in school that I like, or I feel have impact or would make a good title for a post. The problem often lies in the fact that the title would be awesome, but I can't write that much on the topic and/or do not wish to elaborate on words that already state my thoughts perfectly. So I have decided that I will periodically collect all my random bits and pieces and throw them in to one random blog post of collective win and leave it at that. So here goes...

Random stuff that makes for possible future titles:

The stronger the shoulders the Heavier the load

The early bird gets the worm

In the horizon of the infinite

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution.

Random Poetry beginnings I might get around to finishing:

Just a wee bit mad, a little bit insane
Never claimed to be right in the brain

It's all in the facade you put on,
the mistakes you make
and chances you take

Random stuff that just needs to be shown to the world again:

"I have come too early," he said then; "my time is not yet.
This tremendous event is still on its way, still wandering;
it has not yet reached the ears of men.
Lightning and thunder require time;
the light of the stars requires time;
deeds, though done, still require time to be seen and heard.
This deed is still more distant from them than most distant stars -
and yet they have done it themselves.

If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.
If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat.
If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.
( I KNOW I want to do a post on this one I just don't have the time needed to collect my thoughts and get out the right words yet, but I will)

That's it for tonight though I think I will be working on a post in between shifts tomorrow... Cause I really need to sort a mess out and writing it all out seams to help...

Promises & Pie Crusts Are Made To Be Broken...

I know the saying goes rules are made to be broken, but I'm starting to think the same goes for promises...
Over the past 2 years I have broken so many of those promises I made privately to myself over the years.
My broken promises:
1) No long-distance relationships much less with the main source of contact being via interwebs. (AIM is a great thing but gez. )
2) Never going to the school I go to now. (Needless to say the school is not what it used to be, when I got that idea in my head, and the other school didn't want me...)
3) Moving out when I went to college. (Just was not practical where I go.)
4) Will not ever even considering being a teacher. (I hate school why would I want to go there for the rest of my life to earn my $.)
There are probably many others, those are just the ones that stick out foremost in my mind right now.
I guess it all goes with little miss innocent growing up. I mean I laughed at a comment made on NCIS last night and daddy turned around and goes "You aren't suppose to know about that." My sister being younger and not having gone to a Con or being in college where one learns about these things she said "O, the icecream?" to which I replied "No, the bondage." She gave me a funny look and once daddy left ear shot asked me what it was. Normally she is the one schooling me since I was always the social outcast and left out of the loop. Wow, you see what I did there? I got sidetracked and forgot what I was talking about...
Promises, promises, what to say about promises. If you know me you know I normally will not break a promise, and I still take pinky promises as the most sever type of promise never to be broken. But here I go, gone done broken at least 4 promises I made to myself...
But that's life; You live, and you learn, and you make the best of it.

Song for the night:



Quotes because I like them and I feel they were needed tonight:

To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing. ~Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, 1876

Promises and pie crusts are made to be broken. ~Jonathan Swift

The promise given was a necessity of the past: the word broken is a necessity of the present. ~Niccolo Machiavelli

A promise is a comfort for a fool. ~Proverb

Life didn't promise to be wonderful. ~Teddy Pendergrass

But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep...
~Robert Frost